Date intentionally. Yes…this is a primary value. People are created to be in community.
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Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. I am going to ask 20 people on a date. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.
Without a Christian spouse you will either drift away from God or make your spouse a functional god. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships and ultimately marriages.
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It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse more on that later. Establishing principles for Christian dating will set men and women on a course towards Christ-centered marriages. Maybe they like to cuddle with cats or something. It is time for Christians to start talking about dating.
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Just you, your spouse, and God. A pure mind is the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. No regret. The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage? I am fearful the Christian community has irresponsibly coerced men and women into marriage through cultural pressure. We are intentional beings.
The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls.
Five of those should be keepers. And the most intimate community on earth is the relationship you will have with your spouse. Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating.
If not, let me fill you in. Marry someone who loves Jesus. Can you imagine how constantly hearing this question from friends, family, and unsuspecting old ladies makes some singles believe they have a problem?
Now, I want to clarify what I mean. The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch. Not a good idea. Your feelings can deceive you. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse.
Date with a trajectory towards marriage. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. So, pray for God to send you a spouse. No baggage.
The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person. So, date Christians. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. That would make God a gambler, and the Bible clearly says gambling is from the devil only joking. He is the pie. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises.
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You have not made covenant vows to one another. No comparisons. The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. The brokenness in a marriage should point you to the only perfect one, God. If you are a Christian, there is no reason to date without a trajectory towards marriage. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. Look…Christians are called to be missionaries.
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Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling. Find men and women you trust, and allow them to speak into your relationship.
Get to know yourself. The problem? See it as an opportunity to serve God. When you date, allow the community of people around to speak into your relationship. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. In this scenario, your spouse is there to pray for you, put his or her arm around you, and walk with you. Dating is more intimate. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back….
Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose.
Dating is no different. So, this is incredibly important. Yes, I am.
Both of these are bad. Disclaimer : A date is not dating. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage not necessarily in that order. I fear this mentality in the dating culture is actually promoting divorce.
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You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse, and is compatible with you. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion?
We have a responsibility to be pro-active. This is the beauty of a sanctifying marriage. We are deed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. And spread the gospel as missionaries together. We have been passive too long. This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine.
So, I am starting the conversation. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. I know too many men and women who refused to listen to people around them, and their prideful arrogance resulted in a failed marriage. It allows you to jump into marriage with a clear conscience.
Here are 10 important principles for Christian dating. So, the person you are dating is not yours. Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: you will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god more on this later.
Dating involves D. R talks. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. No…this is a secondary value. Your list is deed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. God knows it is not good for man to be by himself.
Let me explain. Ever handled a shotgun? One of the best ways to save your marriage is through Ranch of Hope. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target.