How do we disrupt stories we are telling ourselves and actually be present with what is? How do we navigate that and not take it personally?
If you are willing to do that, it would be good to cultivate skills like presence, patience, kindness, insight, and true wisdom. If you are not, that is a totally reasonable choice.
There is no way to be vulnerable and safe at the same time. The only trouble comes in when we think hope is a problem or that our hopes should be fulfilled.
How do we work with trust in the terribly artificial and potentially unsafe environment of online dating? Get even more Buddhist wisdom delivered straight to your inbox!
Have love affairs. Pain hurts. You can only trust yourself and your intuition.
How is one supposed to navigate online dating as a Buddhist if we are supposed to, as a famous lojong slogan says, abandon hope? Facebook Twitter Instagram YouTube. See also: To get started, visit our How to Meditateor our online meditation course hosted by Susan.
Can you help us with a donation today? And in the meantime, you could suit up with gentleness, fierceness, and confidence in your indestructible worth and the indestructible worth of your date, whether you like them or not.
Have sex. There is no way to not take all of it personally. Photo by Tim Foster.
In online dating, we are taking our vulnerable parts and putting it all out there for people who could be the flakiest people ever. And yourself. Joy uplifts. As Lindsay and her friend set out to investigate the dharma of online dating, Susan chimed with some ideas.
Meeting your match
If anyone is looking for a way to not be hurt by pain, I would say that the Buddhist view is not the place to look. This is the dating personal space, period. Relationships are not for everyone. About Lindsay Kyte Lindsay Kyte works as a freelance journalist, playwright, and performer. Instead, you could look at hope as evidence of your deep longing to give and receive love—and afford it a place of honor in your heart.
The same way we are authentic everywhere: by remaining connected to ourselves and the dharma and seeing what happens. Please donate today — your support makes all the difference.
Peace, spirituality & dating
On a date, the object of attention is the other person and your inner experience from moment to moment. If you have felt the benefit of Buddhist practice and wisdom in your own life, please support our work so that many others can benefit, too.
They require an ongoing willingness to not-know, to be open, to be thrilled, bored, confounded delighted… to take chances and put it all on the line. When we are distracted by story, we let go and return to it.
The connections we share with you — our readers — are what drive us to fulfill this mission. Hope is completely human, of course. The same way you do when you are meditating, which is nothing more or less than the practice of releasing our story to return to the present.
In meditation, the object of attention is the breath.